The Final Countdown

I have less than 10 days to go… why am I starting to struggle NOW?!?

The first 10 days of all-liquids I was absolutely fine–great even. I wasn’t overly hungry, and with the exception of another round or two of flu-like symptoms (they might be from my gall bladder and having virtually nothing in my stomach), I’ve been doing surprisingly well.

And now, when my “official” pre-op has begun (remember, I purposely made this much hard on myself and started a month ahead of time) I can’t stop thinking about eating. I’m constantly hungry. Drew tells me it’s subconscious stress about the surgery, which I suppose is entirely possible. But come on! Really? I’m so frustrated with myself because I feel like I’m losing control. I haven’t eaten anything outside my parameters, but the loss of mental control is REALLY making me upset.

And the scale… I want to throw it across the room. I have been stuck at 1.6 pounds away from never seeing the 400s again for a week. I understand plateaus are going to happen, but I really wanted to get down past 400s, and then lose 10 more to hit the 50-pounds-lost mark. I really thought I could do this, and now I don’t know if it’s possible.

I guess I don’t really have anything positive or constructive to say today. Honestly, I’m just too upset. What I wouldn’t give for a fast-forward button right now…